I have recently watched the first two episodes of FX's period drama starring Tom Hardy. I rarely know exactly what's going on (Tom's mumbling is often hard to understand) but I know enough to be entertained and to look forward to the third episode. I also know that I really, really like James Delaney (minus the incest, because ew) and that part of me would love to read about a hero (or anti-hero) like him. But then I remember: angst driven romances wear me the hell out emotionally and I just can't handle many of them.
Now don't get me wrong, I OCCASIONALLY love a good angsty romance. Occasionally. I stopped watching Supernatural sometime after season 9 because the fun episodes were so few and far between and I was so drained after each episode that it would take days for me to move on to the next. Angst driven novels affect me the same way. After I read one, it takes me a few fun novels to fully recover. My husband has told me multiple times throughout our marriage that I am the only person he knows that can take things so seriously while not being serious about anything. And it's true, I am completely like that. I'm not made to take a lot of seriousness at once and I refuse to do so with my reading, which is supposed to be enjoyable.
I have been very lucky in life. The biggest hardships I've ever had to deal with were my parents' divorce (and subsequent hating each other enough to never speak again) and the deaths of my grandfathers and one grandmother. I have been lucky in that my husband and I fell in love while laughing and having fun together and that twelve years later we STILL have fun together. However, I am not so naive that I don't realize that many people don't lead a nice life like I have. I'm well aware of it, in fact. But surely those people still have some happy times, something in incredibly short supply in angst driven romances. Forgive me for not understanding how two people can fall in love without there being any happiness between them at all. If there is no happiness between them until the end, what is the real incentive to be together, except maybe survival? I want to believe my hero and heroine just can't stay away from each other, and it's hard for me to believe that when they don't seem to enjoy being together.
That brings me to my final reason for avoiding such novels (except every once in a while, when I think my heart can take it): I can't buy into a happily ever after when no one is happy until the last chapter and epilogue of the book. You can't expect me to believe that two people that have had hard lives and have been so incredibly unhappy even while falling in love will suddenly be forever happy. It just makes the HEA hard to swallow for me. And I want to believe that love cures all, because sometimes it really does.
-Reader
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